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Top Questions of our Time Series: Sex
Slam bam thank you Ma’am or Mr.? That’s some people’s method and it works for those who mutually agree they want a quick fix. But for most people this is not the method of choice. So, why is it that this is so prevalent? The reason for this could be that American culture is simply not accepting of sexuality in general and that is why sexuality leaks into what many consider to be ‘shadow’ areas, such as pornography, strip clubs, and prostitution. Carl Jung, one of the founding fathers of psychology, would definitely label sexuality as the shadow side of our culture. For most people who watch or visit these areas, it’s not something they discuss with their acquaintances or even their family and friends. In fact, the actual act of having sex with a person is not discussed too openly in our culture. Alfred Kinsey was one of the first and most famous people to openly discuss this cultural issue in public. Sure, sex is flashed in our faces on TV shows, movies, and advertisements, but few people actually openly discuss the act of having sex with another person.
For whatever reason that is, this is an article that is going to discuss one of the top questions of our time: What is a great way to have sex, even for those who are inhibited. I am going to explain a term, I am certain I am not the first to use it, or explain concepts like it, however, I have not seen the term before. That term is Mindful Sex. Mindful sex involves slightly slowing down in every aspect of the act of sex, from creating the setting, to the foreplay, to the actual act of sex, whatever you consider that to be. The following is the gist of it:
Setting:
This part is not necessary if the act of sex is spontaneous in any given moment. If it is not spontaneous, sometimes it is a good idea to set the setting. When creating the setting, whether you are lighting candles, putting on music, or preparing special lingerie, moving slightly slower than you usually would. As you move slower begin to pay attention to your senses. If you are lighting candles, notice what you are lighting it with, is it a match, a lighter? Notice what the flame looks like, how it moves, does the candle have a smell, if so, take a moment to inhale it. If you are setting up special lingerie, take a moment to feel the lingerie. Is it made of silk? How does the silk feel? Are you spraying perfume/cologne on it? Take an extra moment to inhale that. You get the idea, with anything you are doing, move slightly slower and take a moment to pay attention to what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and tasting. You do not need to think about any of this, just notice your sensations. If you notice you are thinking about something, notice that and then simply bring your attention back to what you are sensing. By moving slightly slower you have the opportunity to do this and in return make the process more meaningful and enjoyable.
Foreplay and Sex:
Some people consider foreplay to be sex, some consider intercourse to be sex. So I am putting them together because these ideas apply to both of them. There are many aspects to foreplay and sex and different people will have different variations on what they like. The tragedy of it all is that most people, having not felt free to discuss sex in public and they have only relied on what the media has influenced them to think about how sex should be. While they’ve had sex, they have never freely explored it on their own. Some people like to start out with oils and massage, some people like to start out with kissing all over the body, while others are into more fetish areas such as acting out a fantasy of being ruled over by a dominant figure of some kind (e.g., dominatrix). As far as fetish goes, this goes as far as our imagination can take us.
As you practice Mindful Sex you will give yourself the chance to discover what it is that you really like and you will begin to feel more comfortable communicating that to whomever you are having sex with, even if that person is yourself (i.e., masturbation). Here is the gist:
As you begin to practice mindful sex, it is important to remember one thing: Whatever it is that you are doing, do it slightly slower than usual. This does not mean go in slow motion, it means just go slightly slower than you would think to go. As you move slightly slower, you give yourself the opportunity to really be there in that moment and notice things that you may not have noticed. If you are giving a massage, you get to feel how the person’s skin actually feels, is there a scent to the oil? If so, inhale it. If the oil is edible, take an extra moment to lick it and truly taste it in your mouth. Look over your partner and take a moment to take in all the little nuances of the person’s body. By slightly slowing down, you also allow yourself to relax a bit, and this not only helps in making this a richer experience, but also helps reduce anxiety if that is an issue (e.g., being overly sensitive or premature ejaculation).
You can apply this in every moment of sex that you find yourself in. For example, when you are giving oral sex, go slightly slower and notice the smell and taste involved, feel the texture of the other person, is it soft/rough? What does the person’s vagina or penis look like? As you go slightly slower you’ll find that it is not so difficult to notice these things and it will draw you deeper into the experience and give you the gift that you have not been privy to experience in the past.
Ofcourse, you can apply this to intercourse as well. No matter your gender or sexual orientation, there is often some sort of sexual intercourse involved. It is important to let your partner know that you want to go slightly slower this time in whatever way you feel comfortable communicating that. As the intercourse begins, notice the sensations you are feeling. All parts of you are experiencing sensations from your head to your penis or vagina to your feet. If you find yourself thinking about something, notice that you are thinking about something and gently bring yourself back to your sensations. If you find yourself judging your self or the other person, just notice that you are judging and gently bring yourself back to your sensations.
Gifts:
Paying attention to your sensations may also broaden your horizons on things you want to do. Maybe you notice that while having intercourse that you are not tasting anything so you decide to taste your partner by kissing or licking him/her. Maybe you want to smell your partner more to bring in that sensation. Maybe you open your ears and begin to hear what the sex you are having sounds like. Maybe you’re now noticing for the first time what other areas of your body are being touched during intercourse besides your penis, vagina, or nipples. You might just discover an erotic area of your body that you had not noticed before (e.g., back of the knees, toes).
Having mindful sex is simply a teaching and a suggestion. If a spontaneous act of aggressive sex comes out and it is not a slightly slowed down process, than that is Ok too. This is simply an opportunity to broaden your awareness about yourself during the act of sex and deepening the richness of your experience. Of all things we have to experiment with on this planet, this is surely one of the top. So, responsibly, go off and try this out, have fun, and broaden your horizons! You may just find that sex is a far more sensual and sacred experience than you had previously imagined.
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Viagra (Sildenafil citrate), which millions of men take for erectile dysfunction (ED), reduces the effects of hormonal stress on the heart by half, according to a study published online in the journal Circulation.
Viagra causes genital blood vessels to expand, which helps in maintaining an erection. Recent research also has pointed to its potential usefulness in treating pulmonary hypertension. Prior to the latest findings by a team of Johns Hopkins researchers, it was thought to have little effect on the heart.
Viagra, or sildenafil, blunts the strengthened heart beat caused by chemically induced stress, according to study senior author and cardiologist David Kass, MD, a professor at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and its Heart Institute. It thereby lessens both the excess amount of blood and the force used to pump it to the body.
"Sildenafil effectively puts a 'brake' on chemical stimulation of the heart," says Kass.
Prevents and Reverses Effects of High BP
These findings are believed to be the first confirmation in humans that Viagra has a direct effect on the heart. In earlier research, Kass and his team observed a similar effect in mice; Sildenafil blocked the short-term effects of hormonal stress in the heart.
Related studies by the group show that sildenafil also prevents and reverses the long-term effects of chronic high blood pressure on the heart.
Sildenafil reversed the negative effects on heart muscle weakened by heart failure and enlargement -- a condition called hypertrophy -- in mouse experiments Kass and his team carried out earlier this year. They reported their results in the journal Nature Medicine.
"But we had no firm evidence as to whether or how this therapy might work in the human heart," says Kass. "Our latest research provides firm evidence this drug does indeed have an important impact on the heart."
Increased Heartbeat Was Slowed
Thirty-five healthy men and women, with an average age of 30 and no previous signs of coronary artery disease, participated in the six-month Johns Hopkins study. Within a three-hour timeframe, each participant received two separate injections of dobutamine (5 micrograms per kilogram for five minutes), a synthetic, adrenaline-like chemical that increases heart rate and pumping strength.
Between injections, study participants were assigned randomly to a group that was treated with sildenafil (100 milligrams taken orally) or to a group given a sugar pill placebo. All participants then were given the second dobutamine injection to see what effects sildenafil or placebo had on the heart.
Measurements of heart function were made before and after each injection. These included blood pressure readings, electrocardiograms and echocardiograms. Blood samples confirmed relatively equal levels of sildenafil and other enzymes.
Each dobutamine injection stimulated heart function, increasing heart rate and the force of each heartbeat used to pump blood throughout the body, results showed.
"This stimulation is similar to the way the nervous system normally increases heart function when triggered by emotional or exercise stress, or in diseases such as heart failure," notes Kass.
After the first injection of dobutamine, the force of heart contraction increased by 150 percent in both groups. In the placebo group, this increase repeated itself after the second injection. However, in the group treated with sildenafil, the increased heartbeat was slowed by 50 percent, resulting in a smaller increase in blood flow and blood pressure generated by the heart in response to chemical stimulation.
Between injections, heart function was not altered in the sildenafil group, demonstrating the absence of adverse side effects on the resting human heart.
Stops PDE5A Action
"Knowing more about the effects of sildenafil on heart function will allow for safer evaluation of its use as a treatment for heart problems," says Kass.
"Our results set the stage for further studies of sildenafil's immediate and long-term effects on the heart and its ability to modify other neurohormonal and stress stimuli, including adrenaline and hypertension," he adds.
While the precise biological actions of sildenafil in the heart are not fully understood, the drug is known to work by stopping the action of an enzyme, called phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE5A), Kass explains. This enzyme is involved in the breakdown of a key molecule, cyclic GMP, which helps control stresses and limit overgrowth in the heart.
PDE5A is also the biological pathway that sildenafil blocks in the penis to prevent the relaxation of blood vessels and thus maintain erections.
Copyright 2005 Daily News Central
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Last night you had a commotion with your partner in the bed. Why? For you failed once again to satisfy her sexual urges. If this is the problem you are facing for the last few weeks or months, then it is a high time for you to give some serious thought over it. It is a sure sign of sexual dysfunction and if you go on ignoring it then be ready for a break up from your partner.
Sexual dysfunction can aspire any one at any age. Though a serious problem, but it is definitely curable at any age. Proper treatment with proper medications can return you lost vitality once again and that too significantly.
Sexual dysfunction mainly refers to the inability in a male to sustain a prolonged erection during intercourse or premature ejaculation or even erection hardness. If you somehow experience such problems then there is something you must do. But remember you are not alone and so no need to panic or live your life in depression. Proper medicine with productive results are now available.
In clinical trials Levitra is found to be very effective for overcoming various sexual dysfunctions. Approved by FDA as an erectile dysfunction drug, it enables many men to respond to sexual stimulation. The main ingredient in Levitra- Verdenafil hydrochloride is a very active substance. It helps the user to achieve a satisfactory erection till the act is over.
It’s an oral prescription medicine and a dose a day is enough to achieve much improved erection than before. Generally it is prescribed to consume an hour before intercourse for it takes 30 -60 mins to increase the blood flow into your penis and stimulate it. It comes in 2.5-mg, 5-mg, 10-mg, and 20-mg tablets.
Mild side affects like headache, constipation and runny or stuffy nose are commonly found. But these affects are reversible and as the body get used to it everything becomes normal again. However always consult a doctor for proper dose of the medications. For in some cases a strong dose depending on your problem is also prescribed. Any how Levitra is a boon to many.
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With an ex-Presidential candidate as its pitchman, more mentions on late-night talk shows than Joan Embry and the dubious honor of being the world’s top pharmaceutical treatment for impotence, few drugs in history have been more in the public eye more than Viagra – or gotten more attention for affecting the public's eyes. Along with its impact below the belt, Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate) is well-documented to cause retinal dysfunction lasting several hours after it is taken. Most commonly, it causes increased light sensitivity, blurring, and a bluish tint or haze to vision in many men who take the medication.
Since receiving FDA approval in March 1998, Viagra has been prescribed more than 22 million times in the U.S. alone and is available in 90 other countries, according to manufacturer Pfizer. Here’s what you need know about Viagra and your vision:
Who is most likely to get ocular side effects?
Viagra is available in three prescribed doses – 25, 50 and 100 mg pills. Side effects are usually dose-related, meaning the greater the dosage, the greater the risk. According to reports by Pfizer and subsequent studies, ocular side effects occur in:
About 3 percent of men taking doses of 25-50 mg
About 11 percent taking 100 mg doses
About 50 percent of men taking 200 mg
Nearly all men taking 600 to 800 mg.
Why does Viagra cause vision changes? Viagra is effective on erectile dysfunction because it inhibits phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE-5), an enzyme that enhances the effects of nitric oxide, which is released during sexual stimulation to relax the smooth muscle of the penis and facilitate blood inflow. However, the drug also has a milder inhibiting effect on PDE-6, an enzyme actively present in retinal photoreceptors. This causes an increase in the concentration of cyclicGMP, resulting in a depolarization of the rod cell – and increased light sensitivity and the infamous "blue vision."
When do side effects occur? The side effects are short-lived and generally peak within 1-2 hours after the drug is taken. What is the long-term vision damage? Hard to say, since the drug has been on the market for only a few years. So far, no long-term retinal damage has been reported, but then again, long-term electroretinograms (ERG) have not been done, says Michael F. Marmor, MD, a Stanford retinal specialist who has published studies on the ophthalmic effects of Viagra. He believes the drug could conceivably result in lasting damage to photoreceptors, so he recommends that you avoid it if you have macular degeneration, diabetic retinopathy, retinitis pigmentosa or other retinal disease. (Meanwhile, Viagra's own label issues warnings to patients with existing AMD or retinitis pigmentosa because they were not studied in past clinical trials.)
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Toys aren’t just for kids anymore. And with the vast array of sex toys that are being made and created for adults, there’s no reason for you to not find something that pleases you—in so very many ways.
Talking about sex
The trick with talking about sex and things that you’d like to do in order to improve your sex life is to not bring it up right after or right before you’re actually doing the ‘deed.’
You want to find a time that’s outside of the bedroom and unrushed. Talk in a secluded corner of a restaurant or in your kitchen. Stay out of the bedroom for the moment. You don’t want to cause any undue pressure and scare him or her away.
Be honest and open about what you’ve been thinking about. Are you thinking about trying some new toys in general or do you want to share some finds with your partner? Talk about the benefits that you’ve discovered, and see what their feelings are as well. They may be perfectly open to trying something new.
But if they aren’t, then you may want to avoid putting any pressure on them. See if you can discuss it further down the road, and let them initiate anything further.
When they’ve said yes
When your partner has agreed to try some things out, don’t jump up and down (wait until they’re gone for that), but start the conversation about things that sound like fun.
Many times, going onto an Internet site together is the best way to look without pressure or embarrassment. Not that there’s any reason for you to be embarrassed, but someone who is new can feel very vulnerable and timid. The anonymity of online can be very helpful. There are also user reviews many times as well as pictures.
There are many websites on the web to get you started on the road to pleasure. Look for the REAL user reviews as well as the great pictures. You’ll be sure to see something that you like, or something you’d like to try out. With the clear menus and thousands upon thousands of options, you’re sure to be caught looking for hours.
Online shopping gives you anonymity and discreetness. And without a salesperson or clerk looking over your shoulder, you can take your time and really pick out what you want. There’s no one trying to force you into buying something because they need a commission.
Starting off
One of the first forays into sex toys is usually a vibrator or dildo for a woman. Many women can not climax with just penetration or they need something to fill up the lonely days. Vibrators are terrific because not only can they stimulate vaginally, but they can also be used on the clitoris as well.
And although it seems like there aren’t as many toys for men, you just have to look a little harder. Why not try out a penis pump or a penis ring? Both of these can create an overwhelming sensation in the sensitive penis tip. Rings in general work by creating a sense of sensory deprivation, so that the man can ‘last longer’ until the opportune moment.
These can be especially difficult to purchase in person, especially if you’re a newbie. Try an online site to scope out the choices before settling on one penis toy or another.
A little more advanced
If you’re tried the vibrators and the penis toys, then you’re ready to venture into other areas. Anal play is something that many couples would like to try, but they’re not quite sure how to begin.
Anal beads can be a great way to give an added sense of stimulation during any other sexual acts. Of course, dildos and vibrators can also be used for this purpose, but these can be overly large and difficult for the beginner. Start off small and use a lot of lubricant to help with the beginning stages.
Tying it all up
And of course, there are always the non-mechanical toys for couples. Bondage play is a popular way to heighten the orgasm experience. By restraining one of the members of the couple, the other can taunt for hours if they want to.
With bondage however, you will want to start simple and work your way to more advanced restraint applications.
You might like to try a blindfold ,arm guards, collar and leash play or some effective looking accessories to make you look AND feel the part!
When it comes to toys, your imagination is your best guide. Talk about your fantasies and see how you might be able to make them come true. And do a little online voyeurism, who knows where that will lead when you’re done shopping?
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